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What do you do when your child seeks your attention?
First of all, whatever you do, try your best not to ignore your child when he / she wants your attention. Whether it’s a grunt or a point, your child is trying to communicate with you. And you want to encourage this.
But second - at the same time, you want to tell your child exactly how to get your attention like a bigger kid - by calling your name, or by saying “help please” for example.
So, whenever your child points or grunts or pulls you, you want to model an alternative.
“Oh you want daaaaddy?” (Point to yourself). “Daddy!” Or “Helpppp please?”
If you want your child acknowledging you to be extra effective, you want to repeat … over and over.
Eg. - (Child pulls) “Oh you want mama?”(Pause 1 – 2 seconds). Then do it again. “Maaamaaa?” (Pause 1 – 2 seconds) Then do it again. (Look at your child, use high, loud, playful voice) “Mama!”
Bonus - after your 3rd repeat, look at your child. Start to say the word for the fourth time. But then pause. And see if your child says it instead!
This is a good strategy in general, because it does not reward seeking attention without words. And, it teaches how to actually seek attention!
A quick caution before ending this tip. It is very important not to stress a child out by being too stubborn here. It's best not to do something like "I won't come over there until you say 'mama!'" This can be stressful for a toddler, and may result in a power struggle which in the long run may not result in communication.
That's why just a few models and repeats, and pausing expectantly, is enough. If your child repeats - great! If not, it will come with time and practice.
For a printable checklist, more examples, and a tracking sheet / more ideas about bombardment, download the "Toddler Parent Education Handout 3 " on our Teachers Pay Teachers store!
Happy Talking!
Disclaimer : Smarter Speech is a pediatric speech therapy / speech-language pathology practice for toddlers and children providing in-home and teletherapy services in and around Mountain View, CA and Los Gatos, CA. Smarter Speech Blog aims to provide free speech and language tips for parents educators and therapists. However, this post is not providing speech-language pathology services. This is general information, not speech -language pathology or speech therapy. This article does not assume or create a client – SLP relationship. The author is not liable for any losses or damages due to actions or failure to act based on the content in this article. If you need assistance with a child’s speech or language needs, please contact a speech-language pathologist in your area.
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